Who is this chick, Tara?

Who is this chick?

Okay, here it is. This art crap is just not for me. Maybe you have already seen it in my work or maybe you didn’t and want to know who the loser is behind the paint. If you are looking for a list of degrees, accomplishments, exhibitions, awards, commissions, then you better brake and flip a bitch. I’m just a feisty, Italian Jersey girl who has been cursed with creativity. Artist Statements, websites, and bios are like heartburn after a delicious Thanksgiving dinner. I just want to express myself and share it with whoever will notice. Part of me doesn’t give a poo poo about the professional process it takes to be successful, and then there’s that feisty side of me that yearns for everything under the sun. The ladder is what forces me to conform and throw in these practicalities of introducing myself with the art. Ugghh! Here it goes….

From the beginning, I was always creating whether it was drawing on my great grandmother’s walls or picking out my original, stylish outfits in high school (never wore the same outfit twice). Inhibitions didn’t exist. I wanted it, I got it. I thought of it, I drew it. My mom displayed my art and bragged to friends. Big deal! Life was easy. I had art classes up the yin yang and won some awards that counted at the time, but that was the extent of it. I wanted to be an artist, designer, actress, mother, etc. The whole “making a living” was non existence until college.

College was a joke. I basically majored in having fun with the two coolest chicks I knew (Karen and Alli), and minored in drinking margaritas and breaking guys’ hearts. The whole package cost approximately $30,000 and change, but the fun was invaluable (I’m still paying for it). The final result was a BFA from Arizona State University and whole lot to laugh about over coffee with Karen and Alli. Throughout the party, I had heard it all. Everyone asked that stupid question “What are you going to do with an art degree?” I never had a non-sarcastic, logical answer. All I knew was that I was happy creating art and I was good at it. Besides, I didn’t fit in with the rich, mall shopping, sorority seeking beauties in the business college. Anyway, college was a life experience. I really didn’t “learn anything” until I hit the road block or what you call the work place.

My first non-waiting table job was as the Events Coordinator for GameWorks. I coordinated corporate outings in a dark mechanical place of video games. I probably don’t have to elaborate on the fact that it didn’t serve as a life long career. Duh! My next job was as a Project Coordinator of a website design firm. A more creative and full filling job for about…ah…eight months. I couldn’t justify working sixty hours a week for someone else’s dreams when I had my own. The ass kissing and time crunching wasn’t exactly making up for my lack of art making. Time to go!!! I found myself soul searching again. I despised the corporate world but needed to support my cute shoe habit and the need to eat. Putting my ego to the curb, I decided to go back to waiting tables and focus on building an art career. I admit that I did paint a lot. Painting was my safe haven after I had to half heartedly smile at my customers in hope that they didn’t choke on their toxic food and that they liked me enough to leave their chump change on the table. I took that chump change to the art store and threw it in that big black hole called art. As a result, I was always broke, unhappy, and forever searching. However, I did have more time to read spiritual and self help books, practice yoga, meditate and think about the future. I amerced myself in a sea of acrylic paint and hopeful dreams of making the world prettier with my art.

Well things really haven’t changed much! If you are one of those who are looking for that fairytale ending, then stop reading and rent a Disney movie because my story hasn’t ended yet. I am still that 5’2” feisty Italian (maybe a few pounds heavier) who strives to be a successful, non-starving artist. The good part is that I don’t have to wait tables or surrender to the numbing corporate bull shit. Instead I am a blessed mother of an adorable son and the lucky wife of a construction worker who makes enough money to support my art curse, cute shoes, and this crazy website. I am very lucky to wake up everyday to a hot cup of coffee and the laughter of my son in Chandler, AZ. I take him to my gym, feed him healthy food, and then play with him until it is nap time. We eat snacks and play until my husband comes home to entertain us until bed time. I don’t have the stress of work and I can squeeze art in quite often. I lead a happy privileged life in which I always thought would full fill me as a person. NOT!!!

I am still searching for something else to go along with my blessings. I want success as an artist. I want my paintings to hang above everyone’s fireplace and I want to see myself on the cover of some stupid art magazine. I want expensive websites with blogs in regards to my awesome art. I want to be a power seller on Ebay. I want some gallery snob to sell my art to a snobbier art patron. I want some stylish teenager to wear my painting on her t-shirt with a rhinestone belt. I want to paint and get friggin’ get paid for it too!!!! Simply put, I’m hungry. I want my cake and I want to eat the whole damn thing!